THE TARDIS Have you ever heard the story of the man who dreamt of the stars? He travels through time and space in his little blue box called the TARDIS. Sometimes he travels alone, but he always makes friends along the way. So who is this man, you may wonder. Well, he's hard to recognize at first. He changes his face from time to time, but he's always the same, deep down inside. He'll be the one who's saving the day when no one even knows that it needs to be saved. So here is a story about the last man to come from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation Kasterborous. He's 903 years old, and his name is The Doctor.

THE DOCTOR I've been travelling for a long, long time, and I’d like to think I've made a friend or two. I don't think it's too demanding if I'd like to finally meet somebody new. And I'm not very picky, I'd take anybody really, just so long as they are young and pretty too! It’d be nice if they were ginger and were not afraid of monsters, and were rather fond of wearing tight clothes. Well I guess what I'm thinking is, all I really want to do is say, "Welcome aboard!" MARTHA I've been working for a long time, and I'd like to think I'll saved a life or two. But I keep thinking I’m missing something more to life worth wishing for, it’s true. DONNA I've been searching for a long time, for the Doctor, oh my spaceman, and I can’t believe I ever let him go. 'Cause of everybody else in this whole town I think there’s no-one more deserving of a chance to run with him. I guess all I'm thinking is, I just really want to hear him say, "Welcome aboard". ALL I can't help thinking that there's more that I could do, but on this rainy island is there anybody who can help me to get there, to reach farther than the stars?? If so please walk right up to me and say, "Welcome aboard". AMY I've been waiting for a long, long time to see the man who crashed into my yard. Twelve years ago he burst into my life and since I’ve never been the same. Cause I keep biting therapists and I know I’m not insane, but I’m not all too sure just what to do. Oh my dear raggedy Doctor won’t you ever leave my memory? Oh hell, won’t you come and find me again? ALL I can't help thinking that there's more that I can do! But on this rainy island is there anybody who can help me to get there, to reach farther than the stars? If so please walk right up to me and say, “Welcome aboard.”

THE DOCTOR The whole universe ain't exactly what you think, you see, it's all jazzed up and not quite as it seems, you see. And I don't know a better way to make it clear, you see, way to see, you see! Now this, Martha dear, is all I really want to say, the world is a wibbly place! MARTHA Wibbly? Did you say wibbly? Is that even a word? THE DOCTOR Oh, not yet, but give it—hmm—a hundred years or so. MARTHA Right. Well let me just go get my time machine. THE DOCTOR No need, mine's parked out back! MARTHA You're mad, aren't you? THE DOCTOR No... well, kind of. But I’m not really even showing it yet. Just listen. You aren't getting it. The whole universe ain't exactly what you think, you see, it's all jazzed up and not quite as it seems, you see, and I don't know a better way to make it clear, you see, than showing you a brand new way to see, you see! Now this, Martha dear, is all I really want to say, the world is a wibbly place! MARTHA Yeah, uh, I heard you the first time. That wasn't really the issue. THE DOCTOR Really? Huh! MARTHA Seriously though, you were talking about a time machine. Time travel isn’t possible! THE DOCTOR Why of course it is! Common misconception, really. May I explain? MARTHA Oh, go ahead. THE DOCTOR The time vortex ain't exactly what you think, you see, time is not a cause/effect progression, see, it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly...uh...timey wimey...uh...wibbly wobbly timey wimey...stuff! Now this, Martha dear, is all I really want to say, the world is a wibbly place! MARTHA My God you're a crazy bit of work... with... very, very nice hair... Look, are you, or are you not a traveler? I'm fairly certain you're entirely insane, (voice softens and looks away a bit) however, I am in desperate need of a holiday. (Focusing back on THE DOCTOR) Well, Mr. Doctor, show me this time machine of yours. Prove that you're not crazy. THE DOCTOR Well that's the spirit! Now, close your eyes. Oh I love this bit! Now, open your eyes. MARTHA Oh...my...god! It's fantastic! It's—it's—bigger on the inside. THE DOCTOR It is, isn't it? MARTHA I mean look at it! Absolutely brilliant! THE DOCTOR So have you changed your mind? Will you come along with me? MARTHA A pretty face and good motor? I guess it wouldn’t kill me. THE DOCTOR Brilliant! Well, Miss Martha Jones, allons-y! The whole universe ain't exactly what you think, you see. It's all jazzed up and not quite as it seems, you see, and I don't know a better way to make it clear, you see, than showing you a brand new way to see, you see! Now this, Martha dear, is all I really want to say...the world is a wibbly place! MARTHA Doctor, dear what have you done to me? My heart is burning like the stars, you see. You can take me anywhere you want to go, cause this world is a wibbly place!

DALEK #1 Search the whole wide universe and you will only find a single threat to our great race, ALL DALEKS (sung) The bane of all our kind! CYBERMEN (sung) We’ve suffered many loses from that same wretched man. But with this new alliance he cannot foil our plan! ALL All hail your masters, our victory draws near and soon we will be cheering while the Doctor shakes with fear! CYBERMEN Time and time again we march, fulfilling our design— DALEK #2 —but there he stands time and again: the Doctor, “Lord of Time”! DALEK #1 Those days are soon behind us. We’ll get him this time through. DALEK #1 and CYBERMAN #1 With both of us against him there’s nothing he can do! DALEKS All hail your masters! Our victory draws near, ALL And soon we will be cheering while the Doctor shakes with fear! All hail your masters! Our victory draws near, and soon we will be cheering while the Doctor shakes with fear!

NEMO Hannah, my love, I have missed you so. HANNAH As I missed you, my dear Nemo. HANNAH and NEMO Every second we're apart feels like millennia to me! NEMO Every time you leave my arms, you know, you take my heart with you. HANNAH Well you don’t really have a heart, so that can’t quite be true. HANNAH and NEMO But when I hold you in my arms, it feels like we are just the same. HANNAH Wherefore art thou Cyberman? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet! HANNAH and NEMO And just like Romeo and Juliet, our love was never meant to be, but unlike Romeo and Juliet, we’ll always be together in the end. And just like Romeo and Juliet, our love was never meant to be, but unlike Romeo and Juliet, we’ll always be together in the end.

DONNA I believe that life can be a bit shit sometimes. That’s just it sometimes, and there’s not much that you can do. Oh, oh, but hey when I’m with you there’s not one thing I can’t do. So chin up and smile—I’ll be here for a while with the Doctor, (spoken) that’s you. I’ve gone with you to see some things that people never see, like alien spiders and actual space—things I still can’t believe! And when you’re home alone and put out, you’re life’s just not the same. There’s excitement ‘round every bend, but you’re just trying to pay the rent! I believe that life can be a bit shit sometimes. That’s just it sometimes, so what are you going to do? And I believe that life won’t always be what you want it to be, so give it a rest and hope for the best. Take a little hint from me: when I’m with you, Doctor, I can take on the world! I can take on the world!

THE DOCTOR Do you know what you just did? I don’t think you do, 'cause if you did then you'd know just how very stupid that it was and since I see that you're not begging for forgiveness at my feet I will assume you're not too clever, so I'll give you one last chance to run away. I will give you one last warning, understand this is your final chance. I hope you’ll listen closely ‘cause I have destroyed entire worlds and I’ll do it again. You just assaulted my dear friend—that is not a safe place to stand. Now there’s no power that can stop me. So don't play games with me, 'cause you just hurt someone I like. Don't play games with me, don’t think you’re capable of that. Dear God! What will it take to get this through your metalheads? You know, I’ve warned you several times. I am the Doctor, the Predator, the Oncoming Storm. I am the man who will defeat you: the Daleks, the Cybermen. Got a problem with that? So, basically you should run. Don't play games with me, 'cause you just hurt someone I like. Don't play games with me, don’t think you’re capable of that. THE TARDIS Don't play games with me, 'cause you just hurt someone I like. Don't play games with me, don’t think you’re capable of that.

THE DOCTOR New face, new eyes, now look at that chin! These teeth! My stars, where do I begin? THE TARDIS How about some trousers or socks to start? Put something on, you idiot! You've got a wardrobe just sitting around and it's filled to the brim. THE DOCTOR So I'd better jump on in. THE TARDIS Try this. THE DOCTOR I've got a whole wide world to see! THE TARDIS And you'll see it, just so long as you're with me! THE DOCTOR New legs, new hearts, and fingers to spare, and my oh my just look at this hair! THE TARDIS What are you wearing? THE DOCTOR I've got this brand new body, so I've got to look sharp. THE TARDIS What is that? THE DOCTOR It's a fez! THE TARDIS Take it off THE DOCTOR No. Ow! New me, new us, now give me a grin! I think it’s time THE DOCTOR and THE TARDIS to take this body for a spin! this body for a spin! THE DOCTOR Let's take this body for a spin.

HANNAH Every time you leave my arms, you know, you take my heart with you. So keep it safe and bring it home. I’ll wait right here for you. ‘Cause when I hold you in my arms it feels like we are just the same. Where, now, are you, Cyberman? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And just like Romeo and Juliet, our love was never meant to be, and just like Romeo and Juliet, we’ll never be together in the end.

THE DOCTOR Amelia, when you come along with me... RORY Oh my God. THE DOCTOR there is magic and adventure... RORY Are you singing? Is he singing? THE DOCTOR you'll see. RORY Oh...that's...that's music. Where is that even coming from? THE DOCTOR You know that no one's really perfect. Not even Timelords are exempt. RORY What is happening? THE DOCTOR So if my sorry isn't proper, just know I made my best attempt RORY This is incredibly weird! AMY You bet your ass you aren't perfect! RORY Amy? AMY Twelve years! You're kidding me, right? RORY I haven't heard this song before. AMY Surely you understand I'm worried. THE DOCTOR Just let me take you for a ride. RORY Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? AMY Shh! RORY Fine! THE DOCTOR Amelia, when you come along with me we can dance and watch the world spin, you'll see. Dear Amelia you'll never have to wait again. You'll see worlds you can't imagine and you'll have all of time to spend. AMY Doctor, you know that I trust you. Please don't dissappoint me now--again. THE DOCTOR Amy Pond, you have a promise: I'll never let you down again. AMY You'll never let me down, you swear? You'll never let me down again. THE DOCTOR I'll never let you down again. Amelia when you come along with me there is magic and adventure, you'll see! Dear Amelia, we can travel all of time. This I promise you today: I will never let you down! Okay? AMY Oh Doctor, we can travel all of time. wil you promise me today that you'll never let me down? Okay!

DONNA I used to see so little in this great big universe, but now I know how little that I know. MARTHA So many stars we could have counted, so many places yet to go. AMY But now the chance to live and dance is fading just as fast as it once came. ALL All those lives he touched, but did he even have a name? Where is our Doctor? Doctor Who? MARTHA I was once lost, tending to family and friends all the time, always so busy so— DONNA And I was a temp, too bored to see the action right there, in front of me. AMY And the Doc kept me dreaming all throughout my life, but that’s just the start! He did so much more 'cause ALL The Doctor showed me, I can be strong. I can be brave. And after all this time, did he even have a name? Where is our Doctor, Doctor Who? MARTHA Oh, but now there isn’t a hope! Our Doctor’s gone! Dead, I saw him I-- AMY Martha you prat! Don’t you say that. I saw him too! I know he’s coming back! DONNA Right, but ‘till then, shh or we’re dead! Quickly though, please. I think someone’s coming now! ALL What do we do? What do we do!? Where have you gone? Doctor we need you! And after all this time, we can’t even call your name! Where is my Doctor? Where is our Doctor, Doctor who?

THE TARDIS Now it’s time to say goodbye to all of our new friends. Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory, Hannah, and the Cybermen. We learned so much and we’ve had fun, but now it’s time to go, so... ALL If it’s adventure that you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place. It's three, two, one and here we come flying through time and space. So I’ll steal you and you steal me, and together we will steal away into the galaxies to see the Slitheen, the Ood, the Autons, HANNAH The Macra! MARTHA The Judoon platoons. THE DOCTOR and DONNA The Vashta Narada. ALL The Saturnine, or Eknodine—we can steal away to worlds unseen. So if you want to shoot for the stars today I’ll meet you on the other side of Gallifrey. We’ll swing by Sontar or have a picnic on Mars. Raxacoricofallapitorious ain’t that far when the story never ends, ‘cause you’ve got all of time on your hands. Be strong, be smart. Now all you need is a couple of hearts and then the story’ll never end. You’ve got all of time on your hands. Be bold, be true. There’s nothing you can’t do. The story never ends. The story never ends.